New Nightlight.

Jiving to the raw beats of Aesop once again.

I'm almost sentimental about the breath I'm breathing. I just got the email: confirmed. thank god.

I will never be less than this raw energetic and cerebral man.

Today I sat back for 3 hours as the people around me talked about things. The man across from me was a taoist and next to me was the fundamentalist. I told him what I know. Speaking felt good. Silence was great.

There are reasons why idealists and intellectuals congregate. Connecting is beautiful and complicated. It takes a submission of your usual guards and tropes. You're used to defending yourself or flexing what you know...at least if you're a "good" student ready to smash the world. However, it's hard for a lot of people to barrel down that impulse to express your passion and really ask what people are feeling and thinking. I've come a long way.

I learned football.

Things that I had no desire to acknowledge have come to a head here. In the grind there's hopelessness. Distractions rule. Over weeks I found myself not talking about anything but the sorry browns and the entertaining Tim Tebow and his QB runs. A real throwback.

I don't think of this as "connecting with common people" as I thought that it would be when I first carved out this time in my life. It's life. I am a human and this happened to me. Just like everyone else I walk in and punch the clock. Right now I'm living the struggle.

Just like everyone else I find myself clinging to dreams. Just like all the other temps I think it's just a phase. Time showed me that it is permanent. Gradually I slid into the moment of nothing and then I'd come back and think of the past.

Tonight I really realized that there is no "me and them" it's "us." I don't need a lot of words to show this. I hate the buzzer, love the breaks, enjoy the occasional free lunches, and fear the supervisor when I'm behind my quota. It's life. Fighting for food.

This fusion of perspective makes a dream that much more beautiful. I don't really know if what's going on right now is temporary. I will be dumbfounded if I get to Spain with my sax, books, and students.

Where did you come from?