Work at a cheese factory for a solid 48 hour work week.
Released to alternative employment.
I will miss the screaming nurse and the cheese presses. The smells and machinery is unforgettable. Smells like cold steel and feeling of warm whey as I slam tanks together and line them with cloth for product to press.
Microbiologist: $8 an hour. Factory worker $10 an hour. Yikes.
$10 an hour to clean the filters on activated sludge tanks with a bunch of chain smokers and farm boys. Putrid smells and covered in muck but the work is rewarding.
Released from that job. Took a temp position in a door factory at $8.75 per hour. Twisted ankle at four in the morning took me out of that job. Now I'm bussing the necropolis only. Working in vineyards. Met a nice older buddhist as the hostess is leaving my sphere of reality. Mixed feelings but overall I'm feeling stoic about this relationship. I know we're not right for each other but right now it seems right so I'm going with it.
So here I am. Far from my goals. It's 79 and sunny in fair Madrid where I thought I would be working. An illusion that broke late August when all the phones were silent. Spain was on vacation when I wanted to hear a definitive "yes" for work and a "I'm sorry" for the runaround. Instead I took a step back.
If I could talk to myself at the beginning of the summer I would say a few things:
Don't leave your phone on the hood of the car!
I missed out on some important dialogue with a skinny brunette that I cared more about than I thought. I lost out on some quality time with the fraternity by burying my head in 60 hour work weeks and scheduling a trip.
Don't go out for the summer!
Losing all that money in the name of experience was foolish. I cherish the memories but I could be, arguably, better suited for medical school at this moment and better trenched in employment by now. My interaction with the French woman was neither profound nor satisfying in the way I expected it and it was impossible to repeal those expectations. The dark eyed woman had all I wanted in the way of intellectual intrigue, sexual satisfaction, and playful contentment. Grabbing that phantom of a transatlantic romance was a horrible misstep on my path. I learned from the experience of a mistake.
Don't apply for Spain!
With one foot in the door for medical school and AmeriCorps itching for my signature onto a project of which I was passionate...I slammed the door (catching my foot). $1000 per month seems paltry...but it's better than the resume-killing temp jobs that I'm doing right now and the insecure soul-draining factory work which I must do now. I passed up an opportunity to do real and lasting good for the opportunity to have an epic experience in another country. Had I stuck to AmeriCorps I could have taken the summer with Ambre guilt-free because I had the net of a great job and the security that I will be able to be with her in France after my term was up. I would have been close to the dark eyed woman and all my fraternity brothers. Instead I am floundering to convince an AmeriCorps post to overlook my lack of a month service in their year-round-only programs.
Get a temp job in the summer!
Landscaping was satisfying for one week but then the $7.40 for inconsistent work requiring my truck and no paid gas...killed a lot of what I could have been earning.
If we look back a far ways: Apply earlier!
To look back gives me anguish. The losses of time, life, power, and knowledge are something to grieve endlessly. However, the moment is beautiful. A well-weathered woman wants me. I am in the cushion of suburban security with a baseline job that gives me $200 per week. I have a great opportunity with Janee to make intermittent cash working with attractive women and interesting friends at the vineyard. The pay is good, there is food, and I can talk to people who interest me while being outside and harvesting wine grapes.
Toward the future I have another fork in the road: South America or Australia. The French girl would not be my focus in Australia but I could actually be close to her while procuring employment. Loans are tricky: I need to pay them while I am in South America. Right now I'm setting aside money to do this.
Here comes the list:
Australia
Exotic spp
Adventure
Some contacts
No Spanish
Cash
South America
Exotic Spp
Adventure
Spanish
No money
No contacts
Better resume builder
Right now I'm in the tank for both. It's the 3rd of October. I'm in Massillon. All my friends are gone and I have a shredded ankle. It's gloomy outside. January 16th I will leave for one or the other. Right now I don't know. Applications for medical schools are out and I'm waiting. No matter how impressive I may be it still comes down to this: who gets in first?
The numbers and resume looks good: Roughly 3.5 GPA with heavy bio, Spanish, chemistry, and English coursework. 31S MCAT score. Three science recommendations (Ochem, micro, and biology profs. one on a very personal level) and one nonscience (Spanish literature and criticism). Two hospital volunteer experiences, study abroad work, a full course and paid time in the lab, two years tutoring, and a lot of real world experiece. Some shadowing experience. A misconduct in my behavior followed by a clean record and good community involvement.
Just give me a look into the future and I'll grin through the work as I barrel toward the future but right now all I see is mistakes. It felt good listening to the man on the phone though: You need a 22 MCAT and a 2.7 GPA to be considered for interview or secondaries. I'm running circles around those requisites but soooo edgy waiting.
I miss friends! I have Christa until Thursday but after that I'm on my own. I will call the professor, Brandon, Bethani, and Jeff tonight to try to hang out with someone. Community is essential to keep positive. I'm sure we could have some good times together. I just need to keep myself and others from isolation and death.
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