Two steps forward. Sidestep. One step back?

Lisbon was amazing. I learned a lot about myself and the people I'm around. There's a lot to be said about how refreshing travel can be. You're out of your routine. You're in an elated emotional state. You're ready to be bold and amplified. Through this can come destructive or intriguing behavior.

My last two days in Porto had a lot of contemplation and solitude to accompany them. It was a perfect place to reflect upon myself and what I thought was important. That set my mind into a perfect state to meet people and be comfortable with myself.

At Lisbon I met a great set of people and hope to keep in contact with them. In reality I will lose contact with all of them but that's the nature of travel and exploration. I learned a lot about how I interact with people and what works.

I'm starting to realize the power of meditation and workouts in stabilizing my interaction with people. The mind leads the body which leads the mind...

One of the people I met in Lisbon I invited to stay with me for a week. All the bad habits that I was able to kick while on vacation came back as soon as I was back here. The overanalysis, the backhanded comments, the sarcasm, and the approval-seeking surged forward like an unwanted tide that had been held back for a week.

I'd have to say it was one huge step forward followed by a step back. Really, it was more like getting ready to jump foward again. I understand what I like about myself and relish it. I understand what I dislike about myself and throw it away.

The problem of these bad habits comes up as soon as I start caring what people think about me. It may seem selfish but the best mindset is "I am a positive person and effective in my environment. By my happiness and presence everyone around me gains knowledge, enjoys laughter, and has an open ear to listen to their problems. What could possibly stop me?"

The answer to that question, I know now, is "nothing but me."

I am excited to go to Prague this weekend. It's going to be a whirlwind trip with a lot of time spent en route to a medical interview and school tour. I only have 3 hours total in the school of my destination but it's enough to get a real answer on what it's all about.

I realize that teaching is my passion but today I badly missed science. I started talking about senses in one of my classes and remembered how much I love learning biology.

This gradual and sincere realization is what I took time off for. The question was "do you really want to dedicate your life to medicine, teaching, and learning?" It's a huge investment and I know people who regret not doing something to assure that it's what they want.

So. My friend from Denmark left. She was pleasant, free spirited, and good company. Now I am going to Prague. Next weekend I am going to Granada. I don't expect to meet the people I knew before again but I expect that it will be fun. The weekend after that I want to visit France. I thought I could hold off until Ambre and I had our trip but I really want to practice my French and travel some more.

I learn something every day. My life here is asymptotically nearing perfection.