Sheet

Today I got up early to roll over and fall back asleep. I think that yesterday was the defining moment of my life for laziness. I'm not going to do that little ever again.

Martin and I walked around the bull fighting ring and joked about all the tourists around. Afterwards he made a pizza and we chilled out in the kitchen. He then gave me a bunch of stuff that he wasn't planning on taking back to Mexico.

It's so mixed saying goodbye. I think that today wouldn't have been anything special if he wasn't leaving so soon. I barely know the guy but I'm glad that he introduced me to some people and took me out dancing a couple times. Now that he's leaving I'll probably hit up the cat's a couple weekends and travel.

Yesterday I started to feel legitimately lonely out here. It's not to say that I want to have company...I really don't know if I do. It was just odd finally feeling the lack of family, friends, and my romantic companion back in the USA. That loneliness is accompanied by the exciting feeling of newness and a lust for adventure. Saturday night was great. Mostly because I just walked around and, for some unknown reason, people wanted to talk to me for no apparent reason.

However, I'm still not over the language barrier. I've learned the hard way that you can't project an image of intelligence on someone just because they're silent. It's equally easy to assume that, because someone looks like they live differently than you do, that they have a different and valuable perspective. Ascribing that value to them is not good because you have the potential to surprise yourself with disappointment.

I recently met a Mexican that surprised me in a good way. She had read Fromm and had a passion for literature. We talked about books while other people danced. For me, that was a good time even though it made me realize how much I've let myself be pulled into learning science at the expense of my enjoyment of books.

That's changing now.

I just finished a book of logcal fallacies. Currently, I'm reading a book about time in English and a book about symbols in Spanish. Today I played 2 songs on saxophone and ran through the songs I used to play with Hey Sandy. It seems like yesterday that we won those Black Eyed Peas tickets back in High School.

Memory comes quick. I'm not aware of what the notes names are but some syncopations and rythms aren't lost. I replayed a song I practiced Saturday and it felt so good. It's almost like the blood is returning to my toes after being out in the snow for a while. I forgot that this whole part of me was here when I studied medicine. It got lost in the parties, text books, and research laboratories of OU.

I'm writing a story to this effect. It's somewhat set in my barn and it's going to be a semi-autobiographical story detailing my journey here. Although I don't consider my time here to be the greatest of my life, I do think that it should be the culmination of independence and success for the character that I craft after myself. We'll see.

finishing that thought

Last night was a whirl after I wrote that poem. I polished off an entire bottle of some fantastic wine by myself. It was a perfectly productive few hours.

After that Martin came back. He finished his all-important medical exam and was looking to party. So, we drank some rum (I believe). After the rum we went to Martin's friend's place. There I was fed shots of tequila and beer. After that we stood in the street for a while then went dancing where I got a mixed drink. Some people wanted to talk to me but it was too noisy. It was an experience. I like Alejandro and some of others but I don't think I'll hang out with them when Martin leaves.

I think I will call up Ian more often. Maybe the new roommate will be nice.

Sleep.

meh

Today didn't happen. I just watched "the curious case of Benjamin Button" after sleeping from 8 a.m. until 2. I went to the kitchen to make a sandwich and I'm drinking water in my bed. I'm probably going to clean my room and write something tomorrow.

Last night was good. I was fairly drunk. I finished an entire bottle of wine by myself while writing something very good. The wine helps the words start moving without apprehension about their reception.

Calm Friday Night

So far, it's a calm Friday night in Madrid. I have no intentions of going out. Tomorrow night I'm going to celebrate with Martin and his friends the termination of his time here as a student. He takes his medical exam to have a Spanish residency or something like that. I'm going to miss him when he leaves but I'm really grateful that I've known him.

Today I lounged around for a lot of the day. This morning I spent in the DisneyLand of bureaucratic bs...but it was necesary. I got my NIE and can start a bank account this Monday. This is great because I need to open an account to get paid this week. I get paid 1000 Euro and start work at the Idiomas On Time school this week for 10 euro / hr. I just received a call from Marisol, a potential client in the Hortaleza area.

This month has been, is, something. Unlike the last three I mostly had great feelings about its passing. The last three were mottled with excitement and moments of sheer joy with my family . . . amidst a multitude of hours in the factories and at the restaurant trying to please rich people. Those months by contrast to this taught me something though: I'm not built for leisure...

The question is not whether or not I should be working a lot...the question is now "what do I allocate my time working toward?"

Bills are beckoning from back home. For some reason my Chase account won't perform an auto-withdrawal and has me holding my breath for some account numbers before Feb 12th.

I would like to be working 40 or 50 hours per week in schools. Luckily, this academy has bent to working around me: I will work from 3 p.m. onward for at least 2 hours a day mon-thu. Friday. Saturday. Sunday. . . are all mine.

Anyways, right now I'm not biting my nails for those things. Instead I'm sipping coffee without regard to the fact that it's past 5 p.m. I have no responsibility tomorrow or the day after. Accompanying this coffee is a blossoming story based around an encounter I had with a squirrel in my kitchen my junior year in college. I might trek down the 3 flights of stairs for some nicotine.

Unfortunately, I didn't make it out to buy yarn today. I spent 4 hours getting my NIE (number to stay here legally) and waiting for Banco Santander to be nice to me. Santander said the first time: are you a student or working? I said working. The advisory for foreigners advised me to say I'm a nonresident technically a student. The man at Santander asked me "didn't I see you before?" I said "Yes but I didn't have everything together back then. Now I have my NIE and an apt. for my card of nonresidency" he said "the same goes."

Then I told him that I was opening a student account. He said I needed 300 euros before he'd start something with me.

I have 150 euros.

So I calmly stated that I was technically a student and not working. He said "it's the same"

That blows my mind. I went to Banco Popular because Caja Madrid asked for some weird "letter of nonresident" from the police. I went to Banco Popular on the advice of Gilberto, my jolly Colombian roommate, and had success. I need 50 euro, a passport, and proof of employment. I slapped down my papers and she happily said "I'll see you Monday to set up your account."

My Spanish is getting better...if I only practiced in offices like this I would be fluent by the end of my quest to have all this sorted out. My roommates speak just as rapidly as these people but they're not talking about things that could get me kicked out of the country (most of the time).

With that settled I went shopping. The stores here still give me some pause. The vegetables here are extremely fresh all the time. This fact is probably owing to the fact that they travel less distance...I need to verify that claim though.

The coffee is making me jittery.

Alright....

Trolling on Facebook I see that another fraternity brother is stationed in Germany and ready to meet up. This sounds like a great idea. There isn't a lot of great beer in Spain.

About the lessons: children are great to work with. Children are also terrible to work with. They're different all the time. Most of the time, however, they reflect the amount of energy you put toward them. You have to maintain their focus and communicate a point as well.

I am accustoming to my new life here. Currently I'm teetering between creative production, consumption, and formulaic contemplation. The question has never been "what?" but "in what order?"

It's a very difficult thing to write a novel. Short stories are fantastic but I really imagine myself synthesizing them into something huge.

Red wine and a "fancy" homemade dinner last night. My Venezuelan roommate Pedro comes in. He speaks to me briefly then gets a phone call and starts off to his room to shout at an employee that made a mistake in production at his television station.

My meal consists of a fantastic mixture of olive oil, garlic, onion, cabbage, and carrots stir fried, lightly salted and sprinkled with cayenne pepper put on a bed of pasta.

My life here is simple and beautiful.

And the flashing cursor on the screen can't seem to do much but make me wonder and sit in beleaguered confusion. A little stream of consciousness will help me sort it out.
I started writing. Really. Writing.

Right now I'm sitting on my bed. I've been here for a while. I pass and repass my life. I tried to play saxophone but the echo in my room made me a little uncomfortable. Martin only has a certain amount of time left before he takes his exam and there's a very excitable dog downstairs that won't leave my notes alone.

It's interesting that my grandparents took a dive as soon as I got here.

Loneliness has started to set in a little heavier. Today I had my first experience of the unnerving teaching of English to students that don't care as much as I do about the subject.

I don't think I'll ever forget the experience. The details aren't exactly really important to me.

I'm writing a letter to someone who I, as I do all too well, burned contact with. I probably will never send it. We'll see.

leap

There are rare moments where it's fine to walk around leisurely or drive with no intention. The last four days have been a moment. For this...I am thankful.

It was a rushed departure from my home in Massillon/Canton to come here. The last day at home I had to buy a laptop, cancel my volunteer status and turn in my smock, return my work uniform and get my check, change my temp labor service to send my newest check to my family's house in Massillon, buy a computer, look for an apt. in a city hundreds of miles away, and say goodbye for 6 months.

The travel was hectic. I'm apparently not one for jostling around. Curly blonde hair that is slightly thinning in the front, blue eyes masked behind thick glasses, and three bags: computer and documents in a black computer case. 60 lbs of clothes, a chess set, knitting needles, and books in a giant roller, and a saxophone case were in my hands. Toilitries and socks were forgotten...unfortunatly.

I arrived in Akron/Canton airport on a frigid 4 a.m. morning. Then I said a terse goodbye to a warm, compassionate love. Ditching 30 lbs of books was difficult. I'm down to three now. I'll miss the Canton I carved out with that woman. We made the best of a tepid town. We saw some of the state. Unfortunatly she's not going to jump with me.

That's what this feels like: A LEAP.

I knew no one here. There are four or five acquaintances scattered throughout the country that I have been asking advice from. They try to tell me things but nothing important came out before I got here.

Dragging my bags along the Madrid subway was difficult. After 4 flights, a minor freakout about transferring airlines, and a sleepless redeye...I was ready to sleep. Unfortunatly the Cat's never sleeps. First, I went down to the bar. I met a French businessman. Paul Blauchard. I never saw him again. He was studying the development of poor countries and worked on sustainable development projects there. Then, after a couple liters of mahou, I happened accross some Australians. Philosophy and engineering were their specialties. I got one's facebook and the other talked about coffee extensively. He was a philosopher from Melbourne. All were very nice and hilarious to speak with.

The next day I met Ian and the Canadian again. We went to lunch at the plaza and talked about our respective countries. Ian is working on a volunteer program to track arms dealing by the British government. He's a filmmaker by trade and speaks Spanish well. He helped me order my phone.

After calling a few apts I found one that caught my interest near the plaza of Manuel Becerras. After calling them I ran into Ian again and he said he was going to knitting club. I followed him and met up with a fellow Auxiliar, which is my program, and conversed in Spanish with a very nice Madrilena about everything in Madrid. Time is flying.

I examined the flat on Sunday at noon. Gilberto let me in to see the place. He's a short man who speaks quickly... I wasn't sure what he did for a living. My room is spacious. It's much larger than anything I've seen in the United States cities for the price. There is a large map of Spain with a bull drawn in red paint on it. I have a palm tree in my room. There are two chairs, a double bed, a heater, a nightstand, a large closet, and a hamper for my laundry. Two lanterns sit in opposite corners and a full body mirror sits behind the smaller one. The previous tenant left a laptop and some documents which he said he would get later. I don't leave my room unlocked much. However, it does not lock from the inside. This doesn't bother me much.

In short, I took the place as soon as I saw it. Within four hours I took out money, fetched my bags at the hostel, printed my documents, and left. 320 euro per month with everything included. The people here recycle without making a big deal. They take reusable grocery bags without thinking about it; the neighborhood is quite clean and quiet except for the 2 a.m. commotion accross the street. It's not the same every night.

People move slowly here. There are many men with canes and small dogs. The women aren't very good looking. Everyone smokes on the street and some of the older people look like they've done it a bit too much.

The other night I ate at a chinese restaurant by myself. They're rude to foreigners...surprisingly. The woman brought me a fanta when I asked for orange juice. I still have some Mexican colloquisms from my college education that confuse the Castillians. Anyways. Here I am.

I want to write a bit. Not sure where to begin though.

My schools are nice. I meet 2 days in one and 2 days in the other for 16 hours total and with minimal outside work. I plan on taking no more than 20 hours to dedicate to teaching. I read on the 30 minute metro ride to each job. Because I'm blonde...people stare. Eventually I'll find a way to make this conversational but for the moment I just smile.

It's siesta time.