Sleep.

Today I started trying to understand more of the book "Time and the Physical World" Richard Schlegel. It's a good book so far. It has me thinking about entropy, change, consistancy, and time as a mathematical principle in equations. I've always thought about it but in physics it was just another variable that I didn't question (I probably shouldn't admit that).

Today I spent some time with Martin, walked to the park to read, drank some cheap cerveza and gave my new roommate a lecture to practice teaching English, and taught at school. My classes went very well today. I hope that tomorrow isn't too difficult.

I learned something recently about Spanish schools and dicipline. You are not allowed to detain students after class for anything you choose! In my high school they were like candy if students were annoying.

Admittedly, it's not good for physical exercise right now. The bank thing is reaching a close but I still have those student loans hanging over my head and no idea how to pay them.

That's this weekend's chore. As for now, I have 550 euro in my account here and $240 back home. That $240 needs to go to WellsFargo and 350 of that euro needs to go to rent and transportation for the month of February. I have another 500 coming Monday.

Right now I keep checking facebook to see if I have received an important message from someone in the past. It's not worth it though. Sometimes I look at pictures of people that used to mean something to me and think about the changes in the physical states of the universe and the relatively consistant nature of each day. If I were in high school and woke up with a right knee that cracks, no hot girlfriend, a degree in biology, over $1000 at my disposal, a tattoo, research experience, fluency in Spanish, and wasn't in Canton anymore...I would probably freak out.

Instead there is that consistency with minor variation. You don't talk to someone this week...maybe next? You gradually let little things build up to a fight then you're not with someone anymore. The night before my graduation walk I was stumbling (I had lost my contacts) home from the dark-eyed woman's house with a huge smile on my face. There was wine in my cupboard and I lived in a house that I, along with 40 of my dearest friends, had gutted and helped refinish.

This time three years ago I was murdering my deamons in the arms of a woman who killed my juvenile aspirations when I was 15.

Every year, season, day, and second, is a cycle with slight variation. I am physically a different person. The past is always growing and the future is always shrinking. Let's make the most of the present and dwindling future, then?

Apart from the lines and waiting I have some fun planned. There's some cute people I have met in Madrid that have invited me to all kids of activities and I haven't showed up yet. However, I think that's about to change.

I will wait for my finances to calm down before I actually get a dance schedule down.

I've been passing time with another English teacher. I haven't seen Ian in two weeks, unfortunately.

If I stay here this weekend I will go to the Cat's to meet strangers in the hostel. My preference would be to follow Martin.

For now, a short shower followed by a long period of sleep. My schedule right now is really accommodating to laziness.

It's not good for the musing that is prompted by people probing my high school past. How am I no longer in Hey Sandy? What happened to those days sneaking around to the fish barn with that pale little girl with the soft body and beautiful voice? Why am I not watching every calorie I intake in wrestling?

I just have to keep myself from letting this musing go too far. Remember the weight of those times: I had no money. I had no freedom. If I wanted to take a girl out on the town,.,I couldn't. I couldn't eat sometimes. I had to play music. It was obligatory. Sure the responsibility didn't seem as great but it meant that I couldn't go to the bars, clubs, and great educational institutions I have the opportunity to visit now. Ups and downs.